The Insanity
by Shinzui Naru
Summary: WARNING: May leave you laughing uncontrollably!
1. Default Chapter Title

__

*A/N* Has this become cliche yet? I hope not, because here's hopefully my last parody. Beg that it is, and don't flame me if you don't like funny stories!

The Insanity

My name is Rachel. Well, ah..hey, what am I supposed to say next?

****

I don't know, make something up.

That's _your_ job.

****

Yeah, well I'm suffering from a severe writer's block right now.

So this means that the story's in my hands?

****

You got it. I think I'll give y'all a break. Just until I get over my writer's block.

I started dancing around. Finally, I get to write my own fan fic! I've been waiting for this moment for my whole life! So I started writing.

The Insanity

"Uh-oh. Who's writing the story?" I heard from outside the barn. Wait. Why was I in the barn? And why did Marco walk in the room? 

"I'm writing. And you'd better be nice to me or I'll write you into oblivion."

"Okay, fine." I began to write again. 

My name is Rachel. Well, I think it is. And I won't tell you my last name. 

"I forgot it. So please stop spamming my e-mail with death threats! Please! I can't take it any more! And it's seriously driving me crazy."

"Marco, stop it!"

I can't tell you my last name because-

"Because the FBI is after me."

"Marco, shut up!" I quickly wrote Marco into a black hole.

"AAAAH! Not a black hole! NOOOO!"

"Rachel! Did you write Marco into a black hole again?" My mom asked.

"But MOM! He wasn't letting me write my story!" I whined.

"No nonsense from you!"

"Hey mom? Why are you in Cassie's barn anyway?" She disappeared. This was getting weirder and weirder. 

Even if I could tell you my last name, I wouldn't because the Yeerks are here. They're-

"We know already Rachel!" Jake said, coming in.

"Yeah, but they don't."

"Who's they?"

"You know, _they_. The audience. The people who read this stuff."

They're parasitic slugs that crawl into your ear and-

"Make you do the hokey-pokey." Jake said.

"JAAAAKE! Why'd you do that? Now it's all screwed up!"

"I was just _trying_ to make it a little more interesting."

"Well shut up and let me write!"

They crawl into your ear and control you. You can't walk, or talk, or blink, or tell your parents that you love them. And you don't know who is and who isn't a-

"Swedish meatball." Jake interjected.

"That's it! You've ruined your last fan fic!" I said. Then I opened a hole in the ground. Jake fell into it and it closed up.

"That wasn't very nice!" Cassie said, coming in.

You don't know who is and isn't a controller because they don't act any different from normal-

"What're you doing?"

"Cassie, I'm writing a fan fiction. And if people don't stop interrupting me then I won't get past the introduction."

"But the introduction's the most boring part!"

"Live with it." 

They don't act any different from normal people. In fact, they could be your parents. They could be your siblings, your teachers, even your best friends. There's a group called the Sharing, and it's run by-

"Giant pigs."

"Cassie, why did you do that?!"

"Because I wanted to."

The Sharing is run by the Yeerks. When you become a full member, they take you down to-

"Disney World."

"CASSIE!"

"What?!"

"Don't do that again!"

When you become a full member, they take you down to the Yeerk Pool and infest you. We fight the Yeerks. We is me, Jake, Cassie, Tobias, Ax, and-

"A rubber duck named Elvis."

Yeah, a rubber duck named Elvis.

We were walking home from the mall when Elvis suggested we take a shortcut through the abandoned-

"Kwik-E-Mart."

The abandoned Kwik-E-Mart. We did that, and Tobias spotted a giant-

"Soup spoon."

A giant soup spoon overhead. It landed and an Andalite came out of it, offering to give us-

"Some chicken noodle omelets."

We accepted, and found that these omelets gave us the power to turn into any kind of-

"Food substance."

So now we have to fight the-

"Chefs."

Now we have to fight the chefs that want to-

"Take over every kitchen in the world."

I was getting nowhere.

"CASSIE!"

"What?"

"Where the heck did you get all this?"

"Madlibs R Us."

"Cassie, I didn't want to do this but..." I turned her into the Mexican staring frog of southern Sri Lanka with my golden magic slingshot. Then Tobias flew in.

< Hi Rachel. Where's everyone else? What's with the frog? >

"They're...out. I'm writing a story."

< Cool. >

When you become a full member, they take you down to the Yeerk Pool and infest you. We fight them. We is me, Jake, Cassie, Tobias, Ax, and Marco. We were walking home from the mall when someone suggested we take a shortcut through the abandoned construction site. Then Tobias spotted a giant ship coming towards us. It landed and an Andalite came out. He gave us the power to morph into any animal we choose. So now we fight the Yeerks, who want to take over the Earth.

"That's better."

Well, we were all in the barn, talking about-

< Who liked Rachel the most. >

"Gee, Tobias, that's sweet. But I'm _trying _to write here."

We were talking about what our next-

< Insane mission was going to be. >

"Exactly."

< This is boring. >

"I give up!" 

"I need to get back to Pixieland!" Mitsey the magic elf, who was being followed by a flying soda can, yelled, and then she was gone.

Then a kid in an orange parka slammed against the wall and died.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"

< What's going on here?! >

"I don't know."

THE DIMENSIONS HAVE BECOME DISTORTED.

"So?"

SO, ALL OF YOUR CARTOONS ARE COMING TO LIFE! YOU MUST DESTROY THE THING THAT DID THIS.

"Which is what?"

YOU MUST FIGURE IT OUT.

I hit everything in the room with no effect. Then I smashed my computer and everything returned to normal.

The End of another demented story by me

Or is it?


	2. Default Chapter Title

Disclaimer, or whatever this should be

None of these characters belong to me. 

Except for Starseeker. 

Duh. You should know that. 

The Animorphs belong to K. A. Applegate. 

The Celebrity Deathmatch people belong to MTV.

I don't want to get flamed either, so I'll say right now that **if you don't like parodies then don't read this!!! **You want a dark fic from me then read either 'One Star, One Tear,' or 'The Decision.' 

Okay, you can read the story now.

What, you're still stuck on this?

You're getting annoying...

*Takes out a gun* GET TO THE STORY!!!

~~~~

The Insanity 2: Animorphs Deathmatch!

The Animorphs couples were waiting backstage inside the Celebrity Deathmatch arena. Jake and Cassie against Rachel and Tobias.

"We're going to kick their asses," Rachel said to herself, revving up for the fight.

"And now on to the main event!" A loud voice boomed. She grabbed her hawk boyfriend and ran onto the stage. "You've read the books, you've seen the TV show, now see them beat each other senseless! The Animorphs couples fighting each other! In one corner, Jake, the leader, and his girlfriend Cassie. In the other corner, the resident hawk -Tobias- and his partner Rachel."

The Animorphs waved at the raging crowd and waited for their cue to fight. They had a special referee to be announced.

"And here comes the cameo referee, Marco, of the Animorphs!"

"Alright," Marco said. "You know the rules. Don't you? Okay then. Let's get it on!" The bell rang just as Rachel started to morph. Tobias sat perched on a rafter in the ceiling of the arena, out of harm's way.

"You're going down, Rachel!" Jake shouted.

"Not if hrrrm!"

"Huh?" Everyone asked simultaneously. 

I _said,_ not if you go first! Rachel was almost completely...what? She was morphing a goose!

"Rachel, there's not much a goose can do! You don't even have a damn goose morph!" Cassie snapped.

"Huh? What _can't_ a goose do?"

"You're supposed to use thought-speech, moron," Marco told her. "Penalty of five points." 

You don't get points here, Marco, Tobias said from the safely of the ceiling.

"Come down right now, Tobias!"

Can't...stuck to ceiling...ceiling won't let go... Shit! AAAHH! He shouted as the ceiling suddenly let go of him and he tumbled down towards the stage. He hit his head on one of the posts, making a loud 'BONK!' noise. 

Tobias! Rachel cried and she flapped over to him. Then she began to demorph because she decided that geese suck. "Tobias, are you okay?"

"He's no worse than you're about to be!" Jake said, hitting her over the head with a chair.

"Jakey, where'd you get the chair?" Cassie asked.

"The nice man with the gun gave it to me." He told her. Tobias flew over to the nice man with the gun and took it from him. He then morphed to human and pointed the gun at Jake. He pulled the trigger and...

"Oh my God, you killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

"Bad aim, bird-boy." Jake sneered. Tobias fired again. This time...

"QUAAAACK!" Elvis the rubber duck squeaked before he died.

"You killed him! You killled Elvis the rubber duck!" Cassie cried.

"You spelled 'killed' wrong Cassie." Rachel said. Her head had been twisted to the side and she had a big bump on it, but she stood up and grabbed Cassie by the feet. She swung Cassie around and around, going faster and faster. She held the swinging Cassie up above her head, while everyone wondered how she could swing a person for so long. 

Then Rachel let go of Cassie's feet and she flew into a truck of horse manure.

"Since you like animal poop so much, why not?" Rachel joked as she turned around and looked at Jake. Tobias was still unconscious from...something. Rachel took the gun from him and shot at Jake. She missed by inches.

"Hey, that's a little touchy isn't it? I mean, can't we just be friends again?" Jake pleaded. Rachel laughed.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Can I ask you something? Tobias said, waking up. "Why are we fighting in the first place?" They all looked at each other and shrugged.

"Because it's a chance to get on TV!" Jake told the once-bird-boy.

"Oh. Okay then." Tobias grabbed the chair that Jake had gotten and hit Jake with it. "Hee-YA!" He shouted as the chair hit Jake on the head. Nothing happened. Except for a loud 'clunk' noise.

"I _said,_ hee-YA!" Tobias tried again. Jake didn't appear to be hurt.

"Damn! You're pretty hard-headed!" Rachel said in awe. Jake punched Tobias in the face, breaking his nose. Rachel got mad and pointed the gun back at Jake.

"Just..." A shot, hitting Jake in the stomach! "Fucking..." Another, right in the chest. "Die!" She fired the last bullet, hitting Jake in the heart. She kept clicking the gun until she realized that (a) Jake was dead. And (b) she had no more bullets left. 

"The winners are Rachel and Tobias!" Marco said as the couple threw up their arms.

Rachel threw the gun, unconsciously hitting Cassie -who was now covered in manure- and waking the girl up. 

Cassie silently walked up behind Rachel and Tobias.

"Hey, Toby? What's that rotten smell?"

"It smells like..." They both looked at each other.

"Manure!" They turned around and stared at Cassie. 

"Time to take a nap!" Cassie said. But now she was wearing a pink bunny mask and holding a blinking wand. Rachel and Tobias stared at her. Cassie looked at the mask and the wand.

"Oops, wrong thing." The bunny mask was replaced by a hockey mask, and the wand replaced by a chainsaw.

"Timber!" She shouted as she swung the chainsaw at Tobias. But she missed. Even better, the chainsaw wasn't working. She checked the chain and looked around. Rachel saw that she had switched it to off and she carefully turned it on, and chopped Cassie's hand off with it.

Cassie, in her surprise, threw the chainsaw. It ended up hitting Brooke Nevin, the actress who plays Rachel in the Animorphs TV show.

"Wrong Rachel dumass!" Rachel said to Cassie. But then Cassie did something unexpected: she began to morph! (Oh yeah right, really unexpected!) Human features began to disappear and she morphed into a... bomb.

"A bomb?!" Rachel and Tobias screamed together. They began to run for the door. Tobias, afraid for his life, pushed ahead of Rachel. Then Rachel grabbed Tobias's arm and pulled him to the ground.

"If I go down, you go with me!" She shouted.

"Evacuate the building!" The announcer guy yelled. Everyone, afraid for their lives, trampled Rachel and Tobias on their way out the door. Soon enough, Rachel and Tobias were flat as pancakes.

"This...bites..." Rachel said. Those were her last words. Cassie never had time to demorph. She exploded approximately 5.6 seconds after she morphed.

THE END

What about me? Ax asked, but the credits were already rolling.

NO GEESE WERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS FAN FICTION.

****

Starseeker sat at her computer, laughing maniacally. She laughed and laughed, even as the guys...what were their names again? Oh yeah, they were the- damn! She forgot again! The white people, as Starseeker called them, put her in a straightjacket and walked her to the white van parked outside her house. She laughed the whole way.

The end.


	3. Default Chapter Title

Disclaimer: The Animorphs don't belong to me. Starseeker does though. Actually, Starseeker _is_ me so...well, if you see yer name in this fic pleeeeease don't flame me! That's it, now read on!

The Insanity 3: And you thought it would end!

**Theme music**

Starseeker: Welcome to the Talk Show with No Name! I'm your host today!

**Words echo throughout the empty room.**

Starseeker: Where _is_ everyone? We're on the air!

Director: Honey, this is just a rehearsal.

~Three hours later~

Starseeker: Welcome to the Unnamed Talk Show! I'll be your host for the evening.

**No sound except for the absent minded crickets and birds twittering.**

Birds: Cheep. Cheep. Twittertwittertwitter.

Crickets: Chirp. Chiiiiiirp.

Starseeker: This isn't rehearsal again is it?

**Starseeker looks out and sees people.**

Starseeker: Nope, not rehearsal.

Director: Get on with it!

Starseeker: Well, okay then. Ah...hmm...tonight we'll be discussing...er...oh yeah! **Squints, trying to read the cue cards.** We'll be talking to fan farction writers...Huh? Never mind. We'll be talking to fan _fiction_ writers who...what does that say?

Director: **Whispering** Fan fiction writers in general. Moron.

Starseeker: Aye! Well, we'll be talking to fan fiction writers. Our first segment is about the...the VIWs, or Very Important Writers.

**Generated applause**

Starseeker: Quit it!

**Fake applause stops and the room gets quiet.**

Birds: Twittertwittertwitter.

Starseeker: **Looking agitatedly at the birds** Shut up! **Gets out a gun and shoots the birds**

Birds: Twitt...er...**Collapse on the ground**

Starseeker: Now then, let's get our first three guests out here!

**Utahraptor, fishie, and Amy walk onto the stage.**

**Real applause.**

Utahraptor: Starseeker, where should we sit?

Starseeker: This is a low budget show. Can you use your omnipotent fan fiction powers to zap some chairs in here?

Utahraptor: They made me check my license at the door.

Security dude: **Comes on stage and hands Utahraptor her license.** Sorry, we had to make sure.

Starseeker: **Shoots the security dude with her gun.** Now, how about we get some chairs over here.

Utahraptor: **Zaps four chairs into the room.** There!

**Applause**

**The four authors take a seat.**

Starseeker: Utahraptor, how about we start with you.

Utahraptor: Well...okay, I guess. Um-

Starseeker: How does it feel being one of the best Animorphs writers at Fanfiction.net?

Utahraptor: Um...it feels okay I guess.

Starseeker: Okay! Any other words on it?

Utahraptor. Yeah. Actually-

Starseeker: Oops, time to go to our next guest!

Utahraptor: But I-

Starseeker: Fishie, would you consider yourself a VIW?

Utahraptor: **Being dragged off the stage** Hey! I'll get you Starseeker! And your stupid show too!

Fishie: Yeah, I guess I consider myself a VIW. But I'm not so sure. I mean, there are other writers out there who are better than me.

Starseeker: I know how you feel. Every time you think you're good, you come across someone who's better.

Fishie: Really!

Starseeker: But anyways, how many times have you been held by the BFFACC?

Fishie: I'm not really sure.

Starseeker: Now, on to our next guest!

Amy: **Staring off into space** .... ......

Starseeker: Amy. Would you consider yourself to be a VIW?

Amy: .... ......... ....

Starseeker: Amy?

Amy: ......they're here......they're coming to get me. Aaah! No! NOOOOO! **Runs screaming off the stage.**

Starseeker: Okay...then. Um...**Looks at the director, who's telling her to stretch her time.**

Director: The other guys aren't here yet!

Starseeker: Let's go to a commercial break!

~~~~

Starseeker: And we're back. **Tiredly** Let's see if our next set of guests are here yet...

**D.M.P., Meeko, Aniblaire, Meridian, and Tobiasrulz walk on to the stage.**

Tobiasrulz: Hi everyone!

Meeko: Hiya!

Aniblaire: Hello people!

Everyone: Hi fan fic writers!

Starseeker: Gee, I wonder why they did _that_.

**Everyone shrugs**

Starseeker: Welcome!

Meridian: Can we make this quick? I got places to go. **Looks at watch**

Starseeker: Well, **Stops to read the cue card** These are the darker writers. Let's start with D.M.P.

DMP: Yay!

Starseeker: Now, what does DMP actually stand for?

DMP: It stands for-

**Phone rings**

Starseeker: Who could that be? **Puts whoever it is on speakerphone.**

Strange person: I know what you did last commercial break.

Starseeker: **Looks around nervously.** I didn't do anything...

Strange Person: No, not you Starseeker. I mean Meeko.

Meeko: Uh...got to go! **Runs away, off of the stage**

**A loud bonk noise is heard from backstage.**

Director: Don't worry about it. Meeko just ran into the corner of that piece of wood over there.

DMP: As I was saying, DMP stands for-

Starseeker: Sorry, we've got to get to someone else.

DMP: **Takes out a knife** You sure?

Starseeker: Erm...uh...okay, talk.

DMP: My name stands for Delusional-

Starseeker: It's time for a commercial!

~~~~

**After the long, long, long, long, boring, mundane, and exasperating break, the show comes back. Without DMP, who's been taken back to the asylum from which she had come. The others aren't there either.**

Starseeker: Let's bring out our last 2 guests!

**There's a roar of applause, people stand up and cheer.**

Starseeker: Where are they?

**Steve-0 and Pinto walk on to the stage and sit down**

Starseeker: Pinto, we'll start with you. 

Pinto: Oh, goody.

Starseeker: Watch it. I _am_ writing this after all.

Steve-0: All the more reason to pity you.

Starseeker: You parody writers are pushing your luck.

Pinto: Let's just get this over with before we kill the audience.

Starseeker: What's what supposed to mean?

Pinto: Look at the crowd! They're hanging for dear life!

Starseeker: Then why didn't they leave?

Steve-0: May have something to do with the super glue on their seats.

Pinto: This blows! I'm out of here! **Stands up, storms out of the building, and promptly gets hit by a bus.**

Stupid little voice coming from somewhere: D'oh!

Everyone: Shut up!

Steve-0: Boy, that was unexpected.

Starseeker: Yeah.

Steve-0: What now?

Director: Cut it!

Starseeker: Stuff it!

Steve-0: What?

Director: No, _cut_ it!

Starseeker: Alright, drop it then!

**A beam falls down, hitting Brat Girl in the head.**

Director: Idiot! I said cut the show! We're done!

Starseeker: Er...okay, that's all the time we have!

**Screen fades to black. Then re-opens at Starseeker's house.**

Starseeker: It is done.

Star's mother: _____! It's time to feed the dogs!

Starseeker: All_ three_ of them?!

**Starseeker leaves to feed her dogs and then to do a book report.**

****


	4. Default Chapter Title

Oh, Lord! Not another one! Huh? Oh yeah, the disclaimer.

****

D I S C L A I M E R: The Animorphs do not belong to me, they belong to K. A. Applegate: the beloved lord of Animorphs. Sorry to people who may be offended by this lousy use of words called a _'parody'_ and sorry if you're in here and you're offended by it. The following people may be upset with me after this is over:

Forlay, Kyra, the monkey who break dances, the tanned banana, the owners of Madlibs 'R' Us, *NSYNC fans, POKEMON fans, Teague, PikaCheeka, the Animorphs, (all of which are gonna kill me after I'm done with this) and anyone else who's in this story.

I don't mean to hurt anyone. *Puts on a puppy dog face* So please don't hurt me. Pleeeease. I'm just an innocent *Yeah right* fan fiction writer.

If you think you're brave enough -and clever enough- to handle my demented mind, then enter, and experience the mind-boggling lack of intelligence that is...

The Insanity 4

The Parody Continues

Starseeker was, again, in Cassie (Ding!)'s barn. Hey, I said Cassie (Ding!) not ding! Huh? What the hell's going on?" Starseeker asked.

"We can't tell our last names genius." Jake told her.

"I can tell _my_ name at least! It's (Ding!) (Dong!) Oh, so I can't say my real name at all?!"

"It's one of the laws of Fan Fiction...uh...fan fiction-ness." Forlay told her.

"Where'd you come from?"

"I have omnipotent fan fiction powers, of course! I can do anything." Forlay said.

"Oh really? Can you make a banana talk as it sunbathes in Alaska?"

"Sure."

"How about...making a monkey dance in front of Madlibs 'R' Us while a taco sings 'Yankee Doodle Dandy?' "

"No problem." Forlay told her.

"Then can you give me omnipotent fan fiction powers?" Starseeker asked.

"Nope. 'Fraid not."

"Damnit!"

"I mean, who _knows_ what an insane person like you would do with them? You're...you're..." Forlay looked at Starseeker and trailed off. A dark shadow seemed to cover Starseeker's face, and she frowned in an unsettling way. Forlay quickly zapped herself out of the room.

"I love looking dark and scary!" Starseeker said.

"You _are_ dark and scary." Marco told her.

"Watch it or I'll sick my friend Angie on you! You're the type of guy who she'd love to go out with."

"Cool." Marco said.

"...And then she'd dump you for someone who's tall, dark and handsome. Plus, Angie's almost as insane as I am." Starseeker continued.

"Why me?"

"Because you're a walking punchline?" Rachel asked.

Just then the doorbell rang.

Which was odd because the barn didn't have a doorbell.

Or a door.

"Special delivery for...Kyra!" The guy at the entrance said. Starseeker went over to him and noticed that the box said 'Omnipotent Fan Fiction Powers: FRAGILE.'

"Hi there!" Star said.

"You Kyra? I have a delivery from the IFFH."

"Huh? Oh...yeah, I'm Kyra."

"Then could you sign here, here, here, here, here, there, right there, here, here, here, here, fingerprint there, and initial there." Starseeker did all of the above and grabbed the box.

"You're not Kyra." Rachel said as the guy left.

"So? Now I have fan fiction powers! I can do whatever I want!" But then the weirdest thing happened: Kyra walked in.

"Hey guys. Did something from the International Fan Fiction Headquarters come for me?" Starseeker looked at the box and hid it behind her back.

"K-Kyra! What're you doing h-h-h-h-h-here?"

"A package was supposed to be here for me. Starseeker, what the hell's behind your back?" Starseeker backed up as Kyra stalked towards her. "That better not be..."

"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it's not! I-it's for me!" Kyra ran behind Starseeker and yanked the box out of her hands.

"A-HA! This _is_ mine! You lying, filthy, little..." She opened the box and took out a ball. "It's one of those stress thingies!" She squeezed it, immediately gaining her omnipotent powers. She threw the box at Starseeker, hitting her on the head. While Kyra squeezed the stress thingy to get her powers, Starseeker ran out of the barn. She looked behind her and ran right into a tree.

"Pika!" Something said from beside her. She dizzily looked at it. A little yellow rat.

"YAAH! I! HATE! RATSSSS!" She ran, and then came back and stomped the hairy little rodent. 

"Pi....kaaa...chu..." It said as it died.

"Oh my God! You killed Pikachu!"

"Hey dude, who's Pikachu?"

"I dunno man, let's lose these morons. We don't get paid enough for cameos!" Two little sets of feet ran off.

"There go the sound effects!" Starseeker mumbled.

"Starseeker! I gotta talk to you!" PikaCheeka said. Starseeker ran from him/her/it. "Hey, wait! I was just askin' if you'd put me in one of these things." Starseeker stopped.

"Uh...you're not even a writer."

"Yeah, but the reviewers gotta get credit too. C'mon..." PikaCheeka didn't have time to finish, because Kyra walked out and zapped PikaCheeka to...er...somewhere. The doorbell rang again.

Even though Starseeker and Kyra were in the middle of nowhere, where no doorbell could possibly hope to survive.

They didn't know how they got there either.

"Hey! Delivery for Starseeker!" Starseeker grabbed the box out of the delivery person's hands and ran. She ran back to Cassie's barn. There, she opened the box, marked 'Fan Fiction Powers' and threw the box.

...It hit Teague in the process.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" Teague yelled.

"'Cause I wanted to, that's why."

"Oh, okay." Starseeker looked inside. There was a bottle of green goo and a note. _Drink the nasty, ugly green goo to receive fanfic powers,_ was what the note said.

"Oh, so Kyra gets a stress thingie and I get goo?" She cringed and gulped down the goo.

"Eeew!" Teague said. Starseeker decided that Teague didn't need to be in the pointless waste of space that was a pathetic excuse for a parody so she sang the 'Yankee Doodle' song and then tap danced, and Teague was gone.

"I am the singing tap dancer of doom!" Starseeker said happily. She tapped along to the beat of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' and PikaCheeka -who was about to run into the barn- disappeared.

"You've gone nuts." Marco muttered.

"Watch it shorty. I may have to sing...or worse." Starseeker grinned.

"No! Please don't sing!" Marco begged.

"Hey, my singing's good!" She frowned, snapped, and a CD player appeared. She put on a pair of headphones with a portable radio. Then she turned on the CD and left the barn. All she could hear was the faint sounds of screaming mixed with the bad lip synched lyrics of *NSYNC.

The...uh...um...oh yeah!

*A little Chihuahua runs by with a sign strapped to its side that says...*

THE END!

"Woah! Wait a gosh dern minute! I wasn't in this and it's my barn!" Cassie yelled.

I wasn't here either! Tobias added.

Prince Jake, make her put us in the next one! Ax pleaded with Jake.

"Hehe, Jake, Make, that rhymes! Oh, sorry Ax-man. There's noting I can do. _She's_ the one with the omnipotent fan fiction powers." The remaining Animorphs appeared, they sang 'O Beautiful' for no apparent reason since this is, after all, a cheap imitation of a parody. The set began to fall apart and the fan fic ended. Everyone yells "Hooray!"

THE END!!!

*A/N* This'll be hard to believe but...I'm going to try and hold off of parodies for jussssst a little while. I'm trying to work on a serious Ani-Fic. *Everyone gasps* What, you're so surprised? This fic's turning out well so far. Anyhow, when my parody series continues, I will have the next episode of 'Animorphs Deathmatch.' So until then...

(DIIIING!!!)


	5. Default Chapter Title

That's right! Run for your lives before I dish out my wrath! Huh? Alright, alright already. Here's the disclaimer.

****

D-I-S-C-L-A-I-M-E-R: As you know by now, the Animorphs don't belong to me. But maybe I could morph a Yeerk and infest K. A....no, that wouldn't work. This is where the Ellimist intervenes and gives me the power to morph...a-HEM!!! "Ellimist is out to lunch, sorry Starseeker." Can't find any good help these days... Anyways, I don't get paid for this. Celebrity Deathmatch people don't belong to me either. Yes, it's another round. *Cackles evilly* Sorry if you get offended by this, but just wait till Insanity 6 and 7 come out... *More evil cackling* (By the way, this one's unusually...weird, if you get my point. If you don't, read on. Sorry -and I mean really, _really_ sorry- if you're offended by this. You'll see why it got its PG13 rating...)

So, well, that's it I guess.

Welcome...

To...

****

The Insanity 5:

Bigger and Better and Dumber than Ever!

Rachel: (From backstage) I'll show those sons of b*tches who's boss!

Cassie: And to think, Jake was my boyfriend!

Rachel: What'd he do to you?

Cassie: He fooled with Melissa Chapman behind my back. Melissa Chapman! That 2-timing double-crossing-

Rachel: Hoo, that's enough for now, Cass!

****

Jake: That b*tch! She says I cheated on her!

Marco: Well you did.

Jake: Yeah, but I'm the leader! I can do anything I want.

Marco: *Under his breath* Stupid son of a b*tch.

Jake: What the hell did you say?

Marco: I said, uh, *thinks really hard* Stupid son with a dish!

Marco's brain: Goooood job, Marco.

Marco: *To brain* Thanks!

Jake: Who are you talking to?

Marco: Mister Bunny, the thing inside my head.

Jake: Oh...uh, yeah. That's niiiiice...

****

Strange, mysterious, omnipotent voice: What happens when you have a full hour to see your faves from the books killing each other?

**Title screen flashes on and off, revealing the announcers.**

Johnny Gomez: Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch!

Nick Diamond: And what an episode it is!

Little voice: That don't make sense!

Johnny: Oops, read the cue cards wrong... Anyways...

Nick: Get on with it!

Johnny: Okay, okay! That's right! Twice the gore, twice the blood, and twice the violence!

Nick: And who'll be fighting tonight? It's none other than K. A. Applegate's Animorphs!

Johnny: They were here before, and now they want a rematch!

**Goes to a shot of the ring**

Johnny: In our first round, Cassie and Rachel will be battling it out against Jake and Marco.

Nick: In round 2, we'll find out who wins when a hawk and a rat step into the ring together!

Johnny: The Andalites go tail-to-tail in an all-out brawl after that.

Nick: The high-ranking Controllers will then go head-to-head to find which is the best!

Johnny: Seldom-featured characters will try and take each other out next!

Nick: And for our main event, the 2 head-honchos see if good or evil will reign, once and for all!

Rachel: *To Cassie* Does this mean we'll be out of the job?

Cassie: *Shrugs*

Johnny: So let's go to the first fight! It all started when Cassie found her boyfriend Jake making out with one of the minor characters, Melissa Chapman. Cassie and her best friend Rachel decided to kick some ass about it!

Nick: And we're glad that they decided to settle things here, in the Deathmatch arena!

Johnny: Looks like the fight's about to start...

****

Mills: I want a good clean fight with plenty of blood and guts. Got it? *Animorphs nod* Then let's get it on!

*Animorphs circle each other for a few minutes. They circle...and circle...until the audience gets up and begins to leave.*

Cassie: No! Don't leave, we need our loyal fans!

Rachel: They don't look very loyal...

Jake: *Lunges for Cassie* You stupid lying b*tch! DIE!

Cassie: *Yelps*

Johnny: The guys have gotten off to a great start!

Jake: I'll teach you to...*trails off*

Rachel: *Is having an insult marathon with Marco* You stupid, pathetic little (bleep!) F***ing (radio-edit!) lover! Son of a b*tch! Yo mama isn't even human! Yeah, get mad! Oh, go ahead! That's right, lunge at me with a rusty knife and...uh-oh!

Marco: *Chasing after Rachel with a rusty knife* I'll teach you to talk about my mom you crazy, worthless b*tch! *Laughs maniacally like a serial killer*

Cheerleaders: *Start cheering for Marco*

Marco: *Stops running to wave at the cheerleaders* Hello my adoring fans!

Cheerleaders: *Stop cheering for Marco and begin cheering for Jake* He's _much_ cuter! *Giggle like idiots for a few minutes*

Marco: Damnit! Jake _always_ gets good stuff!

Rachel: *Morphing* Watch _this,_ Marco! *Finishes morphing and has mow morphed Xena: Warrior Princess*

Marco: Oh man, this is weird.

Rachel: Hee-YA! Ahahahahaha! Die you little b*stard! *Swings a pillow at Marco and hits him with it*

Marco: AAAH! You...you got me. But please, remember! Remember the way I...used to be. Don't think of me as I am now. No, stop, don't say...anything. It's *coughs* too late...for me... *Goes limp in Rachel's arms*

Rachel: I killed him! *Sobs dramatically. Audience applauds. A woman in a long black dress walks into the ring and gives Marco an Oscar, Marco pops back to life.*

Marco: You love me! You really love meeee!

Rachel: *Drops Marco to the floor* You moron!

Marco: *Butt is hitting the floor* That...hurt...

Rachel: This blows! Hmm...idea! *Little light bulb appears above her head. She grabs it and bashes it on Marco's head.*

Marco: Ouchies!

Rachel: *Bends down and picks something up. Then she turns to Marco with a crossbow* Say bye-bye Marco!

Marco: Okay, bye-bye.

Rachel" *Shoots Marco* I win! I got him! Naner-naner-naner! *Demorphs and dances around.*

****

Jake: I'm gonna kill you!

Cassie: Jakey...please... *Looks at him with puppy dog eyes*

Johnny: Cassie's applied the puppy-eyes technique. But...will it work? *Jake drops Cassie* It did!

Cassie: Thanks, Jakey. *Wraps her arms around him...and grips his neck with her hands*

Jake: *Choking* Cassie!

Cassie: Asshole! You! Cheated! On! Me! *Stops between each word to punch Jake. Cheerleaders get upset because Jake's face is messed up. Cassie wraps a rope around Jake's neck. Picking him up, she swings him around her head. He hits a pole that just happened to appear in the center of the ring.*

Jake: *Dying* Cassie...I...I'm sorry...

Cassie: *Rushes to his side* Jakey! I'm sorry!

Jake: I...wanted to do this for along time... *Kicks Cassie across the ring and gets up. He walks over to Cassie and twists her head around and around until...POP! Cassie's head twists off her body. Jake shakes his fists in the air triumphantly. Then he sees that Rachel's alive.*

Jake: Eh, I never liked Marco anyways. *Walks up to Rachel and, since he has multiple head injuries, puts his hand around her waist.* Now that they're gone...

Rachel: Ick! You sick pervert! *Takes a gun and shoots Jake's head off.*

Mills: Rachel wins!

**Commercial break**

Johnny: And we're back! If you missed the last round, Rachel won. Now, onto the next fight!

Nick: We need to show a playback.

Johnny: Shut up, Nick. Now, on to the next fight. A hawk and a rat, who will win? What do you think, Nick?

Nick: Personally, I'm rooting for the rat. What about you?

Johnny: The hawk. He's so handso- I mean, he has a bigger advantage. *Blushes*

Nick: You okay? Your face is all red...

Johnny: *Red as a tomato* Yeah, I'm fine. Now, let's go to the ring.

****

Mills: You know the rules! Now let's get it on!

Tobias (The hawk): *Screeches.*

David (The rat): Squeak!

Tobias: Traitor! 

David: Squeak, squeak!

Tobias: *Flies down to the center of the ring where David sat and eats the rat.*

David: Squeeeak!

Johnny: And Tobias just ate David! *Thinking* Now I can be alone with him...

Mills: Tobias wins!

**Commercial Break**

Johnny: After our last long and exciting match, I don't think I can stand any more action. Uh...someone cover for me. I have to go um...uh, *Runs*

Nick: Johnny? Where're ya going?

Rachel: *Comes and sits beside Nick.* The director told me to come give you a hand.

Nick: Well then, who _cares_ where Johnny went! *Smiles evilly*

Rachel: Well, ah, hmm...Nick, who's next?

Nick: ......

Rachel? Hello-o?

Nick: .............

Rachel: Okay then... Well, next is the battle of the... Bring the cue cards a little closer, okay? That's better. Next is the battle between the Andalites. Now, we've gone back in time using this original, one-of-a-kind Time Matrix to bring Elfangor back from the dead! Think of what else we can do with it! Now, he and Ax-

Nick: Huh? Wha...that's right Rachel! And now they're gonna pulverize the notorious Visser Three and his mysterious partner!

**To the ring**

Mills: Ax and Elfangor, hey... Visser Three! Who's your partner?

Visser Three: That would be Iniss 2-2-6, a very fine Yeerk in bed! 

Ax: *To Elfangor* I always knew something went on between those 2... 

Elfangor: *Nods*

Mills: No, who're you going to be fighting with tonight?

Visser: That would be Mister Bunny! 

*Big bunny hops into the ring*

Mills: Alright then. You may begin. Let's get it on!

Ax: Black and white striped human- 

Jake: *From offstage* It's called a referee, Ax!

Rachel: I thought you were dead!

Jake: Plot hole.

Ax: Referee, is your catch phrase not getting old? 

Mills: Is yours?

Visser: *Waits*

Ax: *Waits*

Elfangor: *Stares around in amazement* I'm ALIIIIIIIVE! 

Ax: He's ALIIIIIIIVE! 

Mister Bunny: *Thumps Ax on the head*

Ax: *Slices the bunny's head off in 1 move*

Visser: *Screams and hits Ax with a piece of paper* You will die a horrible death from paper cuts! Ahahahahaha! 

Elfangor: This is for killing me! *Takes out a plastic sword and hits the Visser with it.*

Visser: Ouch! That hurt! *Hits Elfangor with another plastic sword. They fence very well for a few minutes, moving forward and backwards.*

Ax: This sucks! *Thwaps the Visser's head off*

Mills: Ax and Elfangor are the winners!

Rachel: Yeah! Go Ax! Go Elfy!

Elfangor: Rachel, don't call me Elfy! 

Rachel: Go Elfy! Go Elfy!

Nick: Next round: Chapman versus Taylor.

**Back to the ring**

*Chapman and Taylor walk out holding hands*

Chapman: We're friends now! We don't need to fight!

Taylor: Yeah! We're fine!

Mills: Made up my ass!

Taylor: We ain't gonna fight!

Mills: Well we _have_ to have a show! *Takes out some lighter fluid and drenches the couple with it. Then he lights a match and begins to throw it at them. Camera picks it up in slow motion.*

Controllers: Nooooo!

*They explode.*

Rachel: Yeah Taylor! That's what you get for trying to kill my Toby! Stupid psychotic bitch!

Nick: Time for a commercial break!

**Commercials**

Rachel: We're back! And now, without further ado, it's time to see if Tom can beat Melissa Chapman!

Melissa: *Comes out crying* Daddy! Daddy got blowed up in big bomb! Daddy gone! Oh, he was a Controller? DIE YOU MEANIE! He never paid attention to me anyways...

Tom: *Comes out cheering* The bandits are deee-ad! The Andalite bandits are- where's Jake? Rachel? What the hell are you doing?! Where's Jake?

Rachel: *Points to Jake's corpse*

Tom: That wasn't there a second ago...

Everyone within a mile of the Deathmatch arena: PLOT HOLE!

Rachel: You're glad your brother's dead!

Tom: I HAVE NO IDEA! Oh, I get it! He's an Andalite Bandit? A human? Awesome!

Melissa: *Runs to Jake's side* My poor, poor Jakey! What hast thou done with him? I mean, to be or not to-no...I mean...

Tom: *Stabs Melissa in the back.*

Rachel: A classic backstab!

Mills: Disqualified! I didn't say to get it on yet!

Tom: Mills, that sounds very...disturbed.

Mills: I guess it does... Hey! You're disqualified!

Tom: Does that mean Melissa wins?

Mills: Melissa's dead. You still win. But now you go to jail until you can be taken to the guillotine...I mean, the gas chamber...I mean, oh forget it!

*Tom screams as the cops drag him away for murder without permission*

Rachel: Grabs a note handed to her* Regretfully, the Ellimist and Crayak can't be here. We have to cut this episode of Deathmatch short. So... Bye!

*Everyone goes backstage. Scenes from the backstage rooms...*

Johnny: Tobias!!

Tobias: You sick idiot! Leave me alone! *Pecks Johnny on the head. Rachel is my only love! *Goes off in search of Rachel*

****

Rachel: Nick, go away! Go hound someone else!

Nick: Maybe I'll go enjoy an intelligent conversation with the cheerleaders... *Goes to the cheerleaders' dressing room and opens the door to find they're all dead. Their blood spells out the message THEY ALL MUST DIE! On the wall.*

****

David walks into the dressing rooms as a rat.

David: Am I late? 

Tobias: *Eats David* Gee, I've had my balanced meals! 

The End!

So? I know, it's not as good as the others. Sorry if it isn't... But send comments to Starseeker__1@hotmail.com as usual, or just review this!


	6. Default Chapter Title

****

WARNING: DISCLAIMER ALERT! DISCLAIMER ALERT!

Yeah, yeah, you know the deal. Don't ya? Animorphs don't belong to me, they belong to K. A. Applegate and Scholastic. The beginning has a little thing out of the show The Outer Limits. Yadda yadda yadda... Now, the moment you've all been waiting for! Welcome to-

**Computer screen turns black. An eerily familiar voice is heard.**

"There is nothing wrong with your computer... Do not attempt to adjust your screen... We are controlling the transmission... Yahahahahahahaha!"

**Screen turns purple, then blue, then green, then orange.**

"Hey! Something's wrong with the effects!"

"Okay, kill the lights!"

**Computer screen returns to normal**

"Now, as I was saying... Uh, what comes next?"

"I dunno, you're the one who turned off Outer Limits before the thing was over."

"Jeez, touchy, touchy... Anywho, you all know me by now. It is I, the great and fabulous-"

"_Excuse me,_ dot girl?"

"Okay, it is I, the...uh, weird...yeah, the weird girl known as Starseeker! Yahahahahahahaha!"

"Don't you mean 'Bwahaha' or 'Mwahaha?'"

"I find 'Yahaha' more sinister."

"I think it makes you sound like a deranged pirate on drugs."

"Thanks!"

"Grrrrr...just get on with it!"

"You're only mad because you can't put me down!"

"Yo mama!"

"You're my brother, you idiot!"

"D'oh!"

"A-HEM! Now, as I was saying...

__

There is nothing wrong with your computer... Do not attempt to adjust your screen... We are controlling the transmission..."

"You said that already."

"Shut up!

----

DON'T BE ALARMED! YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER UNEXPLORED AND UNCHARTED... 

are those synonyms? 

YOU'RE ABOUT TO ENTER THE UNEXPLORED AND UNCHARTED REGIONS OF STARSEEKER'S CHAOTIC MIND. JUST A WARNING. BE ALARMED IF YOU WANT. IN FACT, I'D ADVISE GREATLY FOR YOU TO BE ALARMED.MAYBE PETRIFIED WOULD BE A BETTER WORD.

ANY INSANITY RESULTING IN READING THIS WILL NOT BE HANDLED BY STARSEEKER OR HERSELF. FOR SAFETY REASONS, YOU MUST SIGN THE FOLLOWING:

I, ___________________, agree to the above terms that forbid suing Starseeker for copyright infringement since she has a disclaimer and I won't sue her for the loss of my sanity.

__________________________

(Sign here---yes, write on the computer screen! DO WHAT I SAY OR BE DOOMED TO A LIFE OF ETERNAL CHIPMUNK DISTRESS SYNDROME!)

Good. Now you have passed all the tests required to enter...

"Hey, that wasn't what we planned!"

**Starseeker kills her brother**

"Yahahahahahahaha!"

****

The Insanity 6:

Lookie, Ma! A Classic Cliché!

__

Please read the note at the bottom...

----

Starseeker stood in the middle of her bedroom, staring out the window. She was in one of her moody moods. She just sat there, staring. Then she got an idea.

"I'll get him for sure this time!" She stopped when she heard a small panting from outside.

"Is there a dog outside the door?" She asked, recognizing the familiar breathing of her youngest dog. She opened the door to find not one doggie but 6. A wolf, a golden retriever, a poodle, another wolf, another wolf, and a bird.

You Starseeker? 

"Yuh huh. Who wants ta know?"

We do! Why else would we have asked? 

"Oh, duh, silly me."

Are you sure you mean 'silly?' _Stupid_ fits the description more accurately. 

"Aye! Respect my authoritah!"

"I must remind you, miss, that Ah have a copyright on that," Cartman said, stealing the words from Starseeker's mouth.

"Sonuvabitch!"

Now that we're out of the insanity... 

"WRONG! You're _in_ The Insanity! 6!"

6? 

6! 

6?! 

24! 

Huh? 

"Huh?"

Huh? 

Trying to make it interesting... 

"Poorly." They all demorphed into their normal yet not-so-in-the-norm selves. 

"Hey...Star? When're you going to finish those Dimension Chronicles?" Marco asked.

"Dunno. Why?"

"Because I want to give away the ending."

"DON'T YOU DARE! It's my story and I don't want you ruining the plot or I WILL kill you off in my next story! So get off the subject!" The crew started walking backwards away from the mentally ill Starseeker. "Why are you here anyways?"

"To take you to Animorph land."

"I am _not_ going back to Ani-Land! I've got work to do!"

"Like what?"

"Like...uh...my stories!"

"ANIMORPH fics?!"

"No! I'm doing my first Buffy fic, my first South park fic, a Sliders crossover with..." She stopped to think. "First Wave! And I'm doing 3 Zelda fics, a Farscape story, and a few of the Dimension Chronicles. Then I'm doing 11 original stories -including one that's over 70 pages long already. My _Millennia_ Project... Plus, countless works of poetic masterpiece."

"THAT'S an overstatement if I ever heard one!"

"You have time on your hands, huh?"

"Too much."

"Social life?"

"Barely."

"Boyfriend?" Marco asked. She looked over at Tobias and grinned evilly.

"Not yet," She said. Tobias backed away carefully.

"I'm...uh, going to go now..." And he vanished into thin air.

"Wait! Come back!" Starseeker cried.

"He's mine," Rachel said. They argued for a while on who Tobias should be with.

"You're only a book character!" Starseeker shouted.

"So is he!"

"Good point."

"That's enough! You're coming with us!" Jake and Marco grabbed Starseeker by the arms and they all went back to Animorphs land.

----

Starseeker and the Animorphs walked around, while Starseeker hummed the 'Zelda's Lullaby' song from Zelda 64.

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!" Marco suddenly shouted.

"HEY! Do not insult Zelda! Zelda RULES! Zelda is the best RPG game ever invented! NO ONE disses Zelda while I'M around! Well, now what?" Starseeker asked.

"I don't know. What're you doing here?" Marco asked.

"You're the ones who brought me here!"

"It was the BFFACC!" Jake suddenly yelled, scaring the poor chipmunk out of its wits. "Sorry Super-Duper Chipmunk Man!" He then apologized.

"Where are Cassie and Ax?" Rachel then asked. Suddenly, Cassie and Ax entered.

"Enter stage left," Cassie said.

"Enter stage backwards," Ax added.

"No way! Ax has a sense of humor!"

"He's also a human!"

"No way!" The all cried at once, looking at each other in that oh-so-overused way. Starseeker took the moment to slip away and go find Tobias.

"Oh Tobyyyyy!" She called, looking all through the forest. But she soon found herself lost.

"Hello, little girl," Someone said from behind her. She turned around to see a wolf.

"LITTLE?! Did you call me LITTLE?! I'm taller than you!"

"What do you have in that picnic basket?" The wolf asked.

"Huh? Oh, you want Little Red Riding Hood. She's the next creepy looking dark forest over.

"Thanks! Sorry for the mistake!" And the wolf was gone. But then a weird looking witch appeared out of nowhere.

"EEE hee hee hee hee!" The witch cackled. Starseeker suddenly began singing songs from 'The Wizard of Oz.'

"I'll get you my pretty. And your little dog, too! EEE hee hee hee hee!"

"Uh, the yellow brick road's that way," Starseeker said, stopping in mid-song and pointing behind her. The witch flew away on her magic dustpan and was never seen again.

"I'll just...go back home how..." And with a little tap dance and a soda can in her hand, she disappeared from Ani-Land.

----

The Animorphs were back in the middle of the street.

"This doesn't seem right...everything's different than it should be," Tobias mumbled. A group of 5 teenagers started running towards them.

"NOOO! Not the Ani-TV characters!" Marco cried.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" And they did. They conveniently ended up near _their_ Cassie's barn.

"How come we always end up at the barn?" Cassie asked. Jake shrugged and said,

"It's the order of the great and fabulous K. A. Applegate."

"Yeah, but this is a fan fiction."

"You sure?"

"No."

"Okay then. Fine with me." Suddenly an army of 103648.3 Hork-Bajirs popped into the barn. Cassie was surprised that they could all fit.

"Gee, this place's roomier than I thought!" About half of them disappeared and Visser Three stepped forward.

Ah, the And- 

"Hold it right there!" Someone said from the doorway. She had long, silver hair and matching eyes. She held guns in both hands and more at the belt around her waist.

Good Lord! No! It's the only one in the galaxy who can ever defeat me! 

"It's," The Animorphs all looked at each other and gasped. "Bweiyfeur!" 

"The newest Animorph with every single morph in the galaxy! She can stay in morph for as long as she wants and she knows everything about us! She can instantly stop the entire war!" Rachel gasped. "My hero!" Bweiyfeur took that moment to disappear and was replaced by a whole group of new Animorphs.

"The Othermorphs! (I made that series up about 3 years ago. It was stupid, I know. Pointless, yes. But it was funny because I killed them all in the end. Heh heh heh...)" Cassie cried with delight.

"That's right," Jason shouted. "We're here and we're ready to-"

I killed you, remember? Visser Three asked Jason.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Bye now," He said before jumping head first into a plot hole. 

Jason go bye-bye now, The Visser said, laughing at his stupid joke.

"Oh Tobias! I-" Rachel said before Starseeker appeared.

"Aww, no! No sappy romance fics allowed!"

"But-" Tobias began.

"Ap up up up up!" All of the Animorphs looked up.

"There's nothing up there," One of the new Hork-Bajir seers, Heh-Didlog, said.

"But-" Rachel objected.

"ZIP IT!" Visser Three put his pinky finger up to his invisible mouth and said, 

One mil-ee-on dollars! Mini-Three! Get over here! 

"Uh, he quit if yers bees fergettin'." A weird stage person said.

Oooh, scandalous! The Visser said, acting like one of those Ashley girls from Recess.

"He's having an identity crisis! Quick, throw him into the wormhole!" Marco said as a blue portal opened and the theme from 'Sliders' began. (I like the show! So sue me. No, not LITERALLY!) They also shoved the four Sliders back in and the portal closed with them and the Visser in it. The Sliders theme immediately cut off.

"Oh, and I LIKED that too!" Marco whined.

"Uh...Marco?" Rachel pointed at his backpack. There was a huge, gigantic bug on it.

"Oh! Oh! Get it OFF! GET! IT! OFF! YAAAH!" Cartman came in and hit it with a big twig.

"Bad bug! That's a bad bug!" Then he and the bug disappeared into a plot hole and would never be seen again.

"Oh my God! They killed-"

"Haven't we already been through this?"

"Yeah! This is a low-budget production! I'm out of here!"

"Let's go back to Comedy Central where we get PAID to work!"

"Well, this is fun," Starseeker mumbled before disappearing to leave the Animorphs to their daily antics.

----

"Tobias! Tobias! Tobias!" Rachel shouted.

What? Tobias asked.

"Not now, Tobias! I'm trying to find Tobias!"

I'm right here! 

"Oh, you're right there!"

Yeah! 

"Yeah!"

Okay then... 

"Okay-uh, well, meeting at Cassie's! Meeting at Cassie's! Meeting at Cassie's! Meeting at Cassie's! Meeting at-"

I GET IT ALREADY! Sheesh! Rachel started to cry.

"You hurt my feelings! WAAAAAH!"

Aw, I'm sorry Rach! Is there anything I can do? 

"Uh-huh. Morph to human." He did. "Come here." He did. She knocked him over the head with a mallet that was conveniently placed in her back pocket for just such an occasion. She planned for him to be out cold for about 2 hours. "Perfect! Now, stay that way for 2 hours..."

2 hours later...

Tobias woke up. He looked at Rachel. "How long have I been knocked out?"

"2 hours and five minutes."

"YAAAAH! Now I'll be stuck as a human forever!" But then Bweiyfeur showed up again and gave Tobias the power to morph from his human self. He and Rachel immediately started making out, with Starseeker not there to stop them.

After they were done about 2 hours later, Tobias jumped up.

"Oh, I'm so glad that I hit you with a mallet so you'd stay in human morph forever and be with me!" Rachel said, jumping around.

"WHAT?! You mean you...oh, screw you! I love Bweiyfeur better!" And she appeared. She took Tobias's hand and they both disappeared, whispering vows of love to each other. Rachel, desperate for someone, grabbed Marco and started kissing him.

"Classic soap opera..." Jake mumbled. Just then Cassie and Ax (who was in human morph) walked up. Ax's hand was around Cassie's waist.

"Uh...Jake? I think we should see other people." Then she and Ax walked away. But then Ax came back and yelled,

"I AM NOT A FRIGGIN ANIMORPH, OKAY?!?!?!?!?!"

"Ax? Exit stage left, remember?"

"Just exit stage left...stage left...therapy is working!" 

"So now what do I do?" Jake asked himself. Melissa Chapman walked up.

"Hi Jake. You gave me the power to morph and I freed Tom, my dad, and Marco's mom, remember? I also found Tobias's mom and brought Rachel's parents back together." He and Melissa walked off together. 

Starseeker took that moment to walk in and check on her characters. She saw Marco and Rachel together planning a trip to Hawaii, Ax and Cassie talking about who-knows-what, and Jake with Melissa discussing which was the cutest couple.

"No, it's _got_ to be us!" Melissa objected Jake's claim of him and Cassie. Starseeker walked over and knocked Jake on the head.

"Get over her! She's over there with Alien-Boy, can't you see?!" Jake trembled at the omnipotent fan fic powers of the author. Of course, Starseeker's powers were being held for questioning in the murder of Elvis the rubber duck. But she didn't tell _him_ that...

"Where's Tobias?" Melissa asked.

"He's with that other alien. The one with the silver hair. You know, the one who can do absolutely anything and everything because she's so perfect and has every kind of magic power in the world and she's immortal? What's her name?"

"Bweiyfeur." Simply at the mention of the alien's name, applause was heard. Rachel, full of anger, walked over and dropped Bweiyfeur into a plot cage forever. She could never be in another story unless it was a cliche, a parody, a self-insertion, or an absurdist fic. Bweiyfeur screamed and begged for mercy. Tobias immediately forgot about the alien and went back to Rachel. After a while of declaring their love for each other, Rachel stole Marco's plane ticket to Hawaii and gave it to Tobias.

Marco and Tobias started fighting. Tobias grabbed a mallet from Rachel and bashed Marco on the head about 5 times.

"Mommy...I don't wanna go to school!" Marco moaned before showing a now-toothless grin as those little cartoony stars twirled around his head. He fell into a trench in the ground that was exactly his shape. "I take nappy-wappy now. Where Mr. Bunny?" 

Rachel rejoiced. She ran around like an idiot until she hit the side of a building that had conveniently appeared. "Oopsy-woopsy. I sleep." Then she collapsed and started snoring.

"Rachel!" Tobias cried with abundance of drama. "Oh, I'm sorry! My sleeping beauty, I shalt givest thou a kisseth and we shalt liveth happily-eth ever after-eth." He kissed her.

"Prince Charming! I mean, Tobias!" Tobias dropped her.

"Who's prince Charming?" He asked.

"We're just friends. I swear!" 

"Okay!" Tobias carried Rachel to a scary looking castle where they would live happily ever after...eth. Starseeker laughed at the scenes. Marco was sleeping on the ground, Rachel and Tobias were in the freaky castle, Ax and Cassie were...nowhere to be seen. Jake and Melissa had disappeared too.

"Everyone's gone nuts!" Starseeker said, throwing up her arms. "Well, guess my job's done then." And so she left, contemplating more fan fiction stories. "Oh, this'll be good...heh heh..."

****

The...End...?

"You will feel my wrath!"

"Marco, shut up."

__

NOTE!!!

Yes, I am hyper. What do you expect? I just had 2 Mountain Dews, 2 packs 'o Skittles, and somethin' else that I can't remember...well, I hope it wasn't as...demented as number 5. But I also hope that it was funny. Mail comments, pleas to be in the next Insanity story, threats, messages, anything else...send it all to [Starseeker__1@hotmail.com][1] okay?

Oh yeah...

I just want to say now that this will probably be my last parody...I'm running out of ideas because I was going to do a self-insertion thing and then a war...but D. M. P. got to it first. So I'm a slow writer, no big deal! Well, this'll be the last Insanity story unless I get reviews with people begging me to write another one. So this is probably my resignation from parodies...and sorry that it really has no plot at all.

   [1]: mailto:Starseeker__1@hotmail.com



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